Bittersweet Symphony Im home on a Saturday night. And surprisingly its ok. i always feel as though im a shark...that if i stop moving i will die. but its ok not to party:)
No change, I can change I can change, I can change But I'm here in my mold I am here in my mold And I'm a million different people from one day to the next I can't change my mold No, no, no, no, no I can't change I can't change
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life Try to make ends meet Try to find some money then you die I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down You know the one that takes you to the places where all the things meet yeah
Heartbreaker tonight was worth it. ;) Got some lingerie... still nobody to wear it for but thats ok. And I got to oogle the usual eye candy and dance with the usual dance partner. AND.... I saw Machel:D and he called me a heartbreaker. heheh how cute is that? I broke Machel's heart. LOL yeah frickin right
it wasn't Xtreme...but it was aiight. and tomorrow...vaccinating livestock. Possible Boomtribe thingy as well.
Peanut and I make good partners in crime. Kiwi when you coming out? Pinkslip I aint even asking bout you:P
missing the potcake...but there are just some things in life i cant change. once a potcake always a potcake
why is doing the right thing so hard? or more importantly, in my case, doing the wrong thing so easy. i dont know if im devil's spawn but "wrong" actions seem like second nature. the things i want to do or the things i want to say are decidedly WRONG. Morally incorrect. and its such a struggle for me to do the right thing. and when i do the right thing im always thinking about how much fun the wrong thing would have been. is this what life is supposed to be like? a series of denials of pleasure? and to what end? to get to heaven? to get married to a good decent man? to save your reputation? things like marriage and reputation seem like stupid reasons to me. i mean, a girl could live her life doing all the right things and still marry some as$$hole wolf in sheep's clothing and dont even get me started on the whole reputation thing.
and after all this.... ive decided to do the right thing. and because its important to me in this case to do what i know is best. so.... 2 weeks of bliss down the drain:(
Maybe I should become a Christian. then i wouldnt even be having this much of a dilemma. I wonder if the GCGC wants a female member;) Yeah thats what I need... a Good Christian Guy to put me on the right track...(rod of correction and all that good stuff...) *evil grin* lol
My old “van man” “boyfriend” just came to visit me. It was so nice to see him again. He’s also a member of the Good Christian Guy Club. (GCGC) It just says something about stereotypes. You can use them as a guide because they always contain some truth but they should never be used as a decision making tool.
ZR 42 was just the wickedest ride! Lol @ school days
Holy Crap i had an excellent time tonight. It just goes to show when you try to melt the Ice Queen exterior you open yourself to a whole new set of experiences. Summary...good music + adequate drinks + superlative dance partner (i have to say Im hooked) = wonderful night. And I really have to thank the Peanut for making this all possible. Ive finally met my Party Animal match:D
and to those who were treating me crappy tonight for no good reason... you dont give me sex so i dont have to take your shit (you know who you are) so..... deal with your attitude problem (at least when it comes to me)
all i have to say is...its going to be a long ass summer....this hurts so good....;)
Vincy Invasion? My flatmate just called (yes the one with the WHITE PANTS) and lets me know she might be coming in tonight... ok then.... but shes more fickle than I am so she probably wont make it. But if she does.... Can we say excuse for Xtreme?:)
Power x 4 sucked. I dont know why i feel i have to give a summary of my nights out. But here it is. The party animal went in the car and slept and waited for her baby momma sister. The place was too crowded and I didnt have any of my dance partners. blah
Im lonely now. These stupid guys that call at my house really dont care about me and are just eager to jump in my underpants. So I have to be strong...and just wait this out. But a hug would be nice:( I have to say that one of my dance partners made me remember how good it feels to have someone close. big strapping guy that he is...... ah well. enough feeling sorry for myself. off to bed.