Sometimes I think I dare not say that I’m happy because as soon as I do something happens to change that. Or maybe I cant stand to be happy so I invite misery into my life. Whatever it is the happiness has left the building. Or maybe real happiness can’t be altered by these trivial upsets I encounter. Maybe happiness isn’t a destination but a journey. Heheh I sounding really philosophical. Oh well… whatever it is it has eluded me for a while. It comes to visit but never stays.
Well my scars are healing. I guess time does that for you. Soon I will look like a normal person again.
I don’t know when I will be home. Its like I shouldn’t make plans or want something too much, because that gets screwed up as well. SO… as of today I am PLANLESS. No plans for tomorrow or next week or next year. I will be like a leaf and go where the wind blows. Im tired of trying to control a life which seems entirely out of my control.
And…no matter what this blog seems like. I’m not depressed. I’m numb… that’s what I am. The veritable stoic.
So Im back. Why? Because… Apparently everyone decided to take a break and I don’t like to be jumping on anyone’s bandwagon. I like to be different. So you break, I blog. I’m not upset anymore…its amazing what a change of scenery can do for you. And Rory said he was going to miss me and we can’t have that happening now can weJ
And what’s new?
I don’t want to be ruin things by making premature announcements BUT I feel good about my situation right now.
For the first time in ages (years and years and years) I’m totally male “companion” free and I’m not lonely.
And there’s something especially liberating about doing the right thing, especially when it’s a hard decision to make.
Oh yeah and I was in a car accident and my face is all messed up (shattering the window with your face can do that) but I’m ok. Things could have been a lot worse so I’m not complaining.
And… I passed ALL my courses so NO TRINI til Sept 8:D
Couldn’t even last a week. This classifies as an addiction
