Fresh Air At Last Im about to go to the movies with a fine fella. Too bad Sharlons going to be there but Im sure he wouldnt mind some 2 on 1 action. Unfortunately thats fiction. Hes just a friend... not even mine really... im just tagging along cause thats what its come to. The only way I get out it by being a frickin third wheel. BUT I DONT CARE IM GOING OUT!!!
so exams are done... for a weekend at least.. and I should feel all happy but Im not (but whats new) Reasons for moping;-
1. My phone aint ring yet. I figured everyone was giving me space cause I was busy studying but apparently thats not the case. I know when it does ring I can safely say "Hello Pinkslip" 2. My sleep wasnt that satisfying. I fell asleep watching Pulp Fiction and the sleep was interrupted ever so often by someone getting shot to death. 3.No money in my pocket and I just cant get no love. Damn I feel unloved tonight. to summarise... Ade has NO life and is very jealous of those that do.
One More day! just one more day of writen examinations. tomorrow will be a killer but once thats over then im free to relax. just sleep for a whole day. or go out and try to get stuff off my mind for just a while.
what a semester!!
lucky to be alive:) adeoh yeah todays exam was good. so im happy about that
today i take comfort in the thought that things really cant get much worse than this (famous last words:) and forget all the survivor talk, when faced with a setback the only choice you really have is to keep on keeping on. so thats what im going to do.... just live my life and wait to see what is in store for me.
so todays lessons everything happens for a reason the only thing constant is change pain is temporary and no matter how long the night seems it is certain that morning will come.
Thinking Of A Master Plan Starting over is one of the hardest things to do. What makes it more difficult is when its not by choice, and when theres no one to catch you when you fall. yes this is me focussing on unimportant things
According to my calculations Ive been stressing about exams for about 5 weeks straight now. Thats just enough to send a sane person crazy and i didnt even start off with the full deck of cards. And why are these exams just kicking my ass? I really missed valuable studying time when that tonsilitis had me flat on my back....
And I realise the pinkslip and I are blogging enough for everyone else thats lapsing. It might have alot to do with the fact that other people have lives....
Self Love 101 (no not that kind of self love!!) ok...disclaimer: what im going to write sounds conceited but it doesnt only go for me it goes for all the females that i know read this blog.... sometimes I forget that Im desirable and in demand. that causes me to feel like I have to accept certain things and situations when i really dont need to take sh*t from anyone. 'Cause desirable or not, men are like exams.... if you get screwed over by one today theres always another one waiting to screw you tomorrow. thats really deep. i know.haha that wasnt what i meant to say but you get the point
oh yeah... today i had to (respectfully) tell a lecturer exactly what i thought of him. He going to tell me some shit bout some practical I miss being a requirement.. RIGHT before my exam. Now.. I know this man is a jackass from long time and he pulls some ignorant stunts... but right before my exam? Suppose i was the kind to get stressed over stuff like that? So I went right over to him and told him what i thought about that information as politely as i could. Felt great to get it off my chest. even though he will victimise my ass in these oral exams coming up. But I dont care. Im supposedly spoilt. But who in this world doesnt want to stand up for what they want or doesnt want things their way? anyways.. enough time wasting and venting etc etc off to the world of microbiology ade
Comfort Food My exam went pretty bad today. Unfortunately (or fortunately) it was pretty terrible for the entire class. Suddenly the possibility of failure is staring me in the face. Now we know that cant happen.... as stated previously on many occassions.... I aint coming back in august unless they having summer carnival. So Im back to studying again, even if this tonsilitis kills me.
The doctor grimaced when she saw my tonsils. She even muttered an "eww" haha. See I wasnt exaggerating! Im really sick and its affecting my studying!! Thats my excuse and Im sticking to it!
After today's upset I needed some major cheering up... .and what better way to spend 11.25 than some KFC. Damn it was good. Too bad the satisfaction was short lived and the feeling of guilt afterward was mildly unpleasant. sounds familiar... j/k
Now really... who needs men when there's sleep and food?
im back online. back in a pissy mood. some things just dont change. and on that topic...
do relationships work? i havent seen many that are really functioning optimally. I figured it was just me. Pardon the cynicism... Im just a little bitter
anyways. i going study. lifes a bitch and then you die
Before I Walk Away day 2 of the study hiatus is over and I think Ive woken up in a much better mood. Its time to get some discipline and put away the stupid computer and the stupid conerns that really arent more than just that, stupid. Enough time wasting and bad moods and trivial bitchings. Its time to get down to what I came here to do to ensure that I wont be back in august looking at the same dumb shit all over again. so this is a temporary goodbye to unlimited internet access. The prehistoric beast is being shelved until Ive regained control of the situation and Im back on track. I wont be stupid and say I wont be online at all.. (i think id whither and die without my life line) but the mindless chatting and bitching has to stop for now. So for a week (at most!) I will limit myself to one hour limit labs at school. Lets see how this goes
Temporary Insanity also dont take me seriously right now. if i say the same stuff after these exams are over then you know that im serious. but im not in my right mind presently. its amazing what distance from normal things and normal people can do (Mount Hope is full of freaks!!). I figure in the end everything will sort itself out for the eventual benefit of everyone.
isnt it amazing what adequate sleep, some classical music and some lionel richie can do for a person at 7 in the am?
hoping that a little sacrifice goes a long way
ade
one more thing... isnt it inspirational that at 40 something Madonna thinks shes finally got control and that its the best time of her life. I got time:)
