Things arent ever as bad as they seem, they could be worse.
Things can always get worse. Who really is the worst off person in the whole wide world? Is it the dead people? They dont get a chance to live another day (bad or good) but they might be in a better place for all we know.
So since youre not the most unfortunate person in the world are you entitled to feel sorry for yourself, or get depressed and cry? Is it therapeutic to wallow in self pity or is it an awesome waste of time for the weak?
I really shouldnt complain about life. I have a family that loves me and I have my health and my sanity (most of it anyways) and I have great friends and people that care, I have enough to eat and somewhere to sleep. Basically I have more than the necessities right now. So whats my problem, right? A little uncertainty about my future is no reason to get down in the dumps. There are people out there that dont know where their next meal is coming from or their next breath for that matter.
If God takes care of the sparrow then who am I to worry? (ive seen a few dead sparrows in my time though) But anyways.....enough of that.
The party last night was great. They played calypso all night (thanks DJ Knocturnal) and I got my work out. This is how its supposed to be done. No situps or crunches. Just a whole lot of wukups all night long. But I was in my bed and asleep by midnight. Im becoming quite the granny. i took some pics as well. So maybe I will upload them and show off my scrubs. My pathology lecturer was there also. having a little fun before he screws me royally on Tuesday. Hes sooo very cool. I have to show the pics of him if i show nothing else. What a trip!
well that was me venting and feeling a bit better now to study....(?) oh and the Rainmaker was lovely. I love it when people live happily ever after.
Im reading that book by John Grisham right now. its such a great book. and no matter how many times I tell myself not to start books when im studying for exams I cant help myself and I never learn. So which is more interesting? The pathology of the cardiovascualr system or the Rainmaker? Honestly its a toss up but one makes for much easier reading. Im about to go to main campus with my girlie girl pink slip to put in some studying and some hardcore liming:) Then theres the party tonight. The theme is dess as anything found in a hospital. How clever....a bunch of med students dressed as people in a hospital. I couldnt see that one coming. But anyways I'll be there in full force with my scrubs. 15TT drinks free!! Malibu, rumpunch etc etc. Nah... that cant miss me.
Things are changing but as thats the only constant in life I get used to it. However, the rate at which I adapt to new things is a bit disturbing to me. Im like a tree with no deep roots. Self preservation (my excuse for everything). You adapt or you die. Well Im a survivor. I keep saying it and you probably dont believe it but I wouldnt say it unless it was true:)
Tumbleweed looking for an oasis in this emotional desert signing out
Me Again Im loving this interent access on halls. But because I cant chat this is my way to talk about myself when no one is there to listen:) thus the excessive daily blogging. But Ive been thinking all day...during class:). My main thought for the day was MONEY. yeah root of all evil etc etc. Why was I thinking about it? maybe it was my lack that started the wheels turning.
But I was thinking that the only people that say sh*t like..."its there to be spent" and "you cant take it to the grave" and "it's not so important" and those that have it, have always had it and have never really needed it. (and i mean really needed it) Anyone thats ever been in dire straits (like myself) knows that money is important (as hell) and its only there to be spent if all the bills have been paid and you have extra to put down for that rainy day (tomorrow) and still more left over. However, i believe its my lack of money that makes it ok for me not to have. (does that make sense?) Ive done without "things" on many occassions and i can go without any time i need to. Money doesnt tempt me and I can turn it down in a heartbeat ( i know because ive done it before) I dont go after someone because they have money or turn them down because they dont. I dont choose friends that have...etc etc. Anyways...in conclusion...money is a nice thing to have. Its the major limiting factor in my life but it makes me feel good that i can go without. I love poverty (ha!) because I know that when things get rough(er) I can survive on nothing if i have to. (ramen baby!!)
not looking for pity or handouts (make all cheques out to ade kinch. email for the address;) ade
Half Day Today, Can You Believe It?? we finished at 11 today and i was such a happy camper. and i actually used the time to study... and sleep but now i feel all refreshed and ready to go again. good for me! I was thinking today that I arrived in Trinidad and its like the Grinch stole my Christmas. nothing but problems since i got back. Some of the same old worries (school, bills etc etc) and a few new ones. There was little time for transition. Its like I fell from heaven and didnt land on earth but got a ticket straight to hell. Talk about culture shock! But things are almost back to normal now and believe it or not studying makes me happy. I can handle anything put on my plate:) cause Im a survivor. My, Im blogging regularly.
Today was insanely long. My timetable is rediculous. 8-5 every day...except thursdays. when am i going to have time to breathe? But its necessary that I concentrate on whats important this semester. No time for drama, or parties (yeah right!!) or visitors this time around. Just studying and the internet. I have to have my priorities straight. But already I have an exam on tuesday and a party booked on the 24th. I have to release some steam and what better way to do it than spending the night listening to Rupee and Bunji. If I maintain my sanity this semester then i know i can do anything. there are so many things testing me. i just have to keep my head up and know that I can get through whatever. this is a good thing to keep in mind
Lord help me to remember today that theres nothing you and I together cant handle.
i fell in love with another song today. the dixie chicks no less!!!
Landslide - Dixie Chicks
I took my love and I took it down I climbed a mountain and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills Well the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky What is love Can the child within my heart rise above Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides Can I handle the seasons of my life
Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you But time makes you bolder Children get older I'm getting older too
Back To Reality...Oops There Goes Gravity so im back to ramen. thats not so bad usually but when its from lobster to ramen then its a little harder to take the change isnt it? And school tomorrow. OK..im depressing myself...really. But Im back in Trini and really its the same sh*t I left behind. I missed school all day today. as per usual but i swear its not a trend. and my room is a gosh darn mess! I need to get to cleaning. But on a better note....today is another day that I have to better myself and be the person Id like to be. And I had a wonderful time in Nassau. I learnt so much vet stuff and I have an enthusiasm that I didnt have before. THey even liked me at the vet clinic and I was given an open invitation to return. Which I believe I'll take up. So hopefully in summer thats where I'll be. chillin like a villain in the bahamas. but back to the shitty part of life...one more time..sometimes its real good to know that people you figured would have your best interests at heart really dont. but thats life. its best to separate the sheep from the goats (tail down vs tail up ...vet joke;) And on a different note all together. My heart is officially protected until i reach 30. hopefully by then I'll be able to make better choices. So anyone thats interested in me...just remember that. No heart involved in any relationship of mine for the next 7 years. dont say you werent warned;)
heartless bastard (act of self defence) signing out