when ever something is going great for me i have to put my own stick in the spokes, wrench in the works....yuh know...screw myself over majorly. its like i cant accept that im happy and im loved, i have to go do something to ensure that my life sucks. i think they call it self fulfilling prophecy.
isn't it just human nature to want what you cant have? and then when you get it not want it anymore. i mean...whats the cure for that? when do we stop taking things for granted or stop lusting after the unattainable? well anyways... im looking for the cure for alot of human flaws. like jealousy and envy and possessiveness. but the worst thing is trying to be possessive with things that you dont possess. ask me about it and i'll tell you. its on a need to know basis
also...
i went to a party last night and i was a minority. thought id left that behind in baltimore but this is trinidad after all. still had a good time. free entry free drinks...my kinda party regardless of who else was there.
its like...im going to be 23 soon. its a scarier thought than turning 22. If life goes as planned (HA!) then i should be getting married in 3-5 years. wow. And its like I dont know how to act like an adult. Its all this school that im attending. no chance to do adult responsible things like get a real job and keep it. well anyways. trinidad is cool....figuratively...is sweltering literally and im settling in and my phone works so you can call:) and i can call you.
oh yeah and my flat mates are just the sweetest. I definitely dont want to move off halls...id miss those girls too much.
finally some internet to myself. no interruptions or time limits! what can i say though. Im back in trinidad....finding out that more people than i would like look at this page....hmmmm. It makes you think about what youre going to write. But I dont care too much. This is my so called life...welcome to the ade show. Enjoy the show and laugh along
Anyways...im finally getting back into the trini thing. I was incredibly miserable for the first few days. My life is changing and I hate change... the uncertainty of the future and things like that. BUt as my mum says the only thing constant in life is change. So just need to get used to it.
but I was enjoying the benefits of solitude and quiet today. Things like chiling in your undies...never take it forgranted. maybe i'll get used to it.
So Marcus is getting hit on.....hhmmmm....i stifle the overwhleming urge to say BACK OFF B*TCHES!! I cant do that of course. so i will just think it.:) its like...he's been fine for AGES now...where were you??? ah well...off that topic. working myself into a jealous rage wont help now will it?
in other news.......
theres none.
oh yeah... all the freshers all involved in the get to know you thing. I'm past that phase in life. Its like a dance that i have no urge to take part in. Its so fake. you pretend to be friendly and nice for a week or so then its all about guys trying to get into girls undergarments and women trying to extract trips to the movies and dinner from unsuspecting males. No thanks. None of that for me. Im getting more antisocial with age. I have no want to play games and thats all it really is. People pretending to be what theyre not. You have to try to tell the genuine from the fake. thats never been my forte. I always get them mixed up... ok...do i sound bitter??:) well just a little boy! thats a long blog. more in a few weeks i guess public computers just arent cool
here in trickybad (trinidad) not much time left on my internet cafe account. this is what ive been reduced to. so far...its a sucky time but whats new in adeland
