Don't Let Me Get Me
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Saturday, April 06, 2002

Saturday Nights and Mondays Always Get Me Down

Im back on again. I'm realising (with the aid of all the people that ask me why I dont have a life) that the quality of my life has greatly deteriorated. I spend all my time on the internet now. I mean, on the average night, this is where I can find the people important to my life. But it's Saturday and Im the only one in the whole world that's stuck on the PC talking to herself. Everyone else is at that Boomtribe thing enjoying themselves (and so they should....exams round the corner) And it's not like I'm studying. No....Im here online...with no one to chat with and my brain is still lacking in the Pharmacology Department.
Here I am...blogging daily, sometimes twice a day. What is happening to me? I've become a computer nerd that's not quite nerdy.
Sigh. Enough complaining. There's not going to be any life for me for a while so I can stop dreaming. I'm going to bed.
Govie I hope you were able to get on wild enough for you and me.
You too Marcus, natural dibby sket!

Wishing I was there......

Cause I need you
And I miss you

And now I wonder
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by,oh
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you... tonight



And I, I don't wanna let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I,I don't wanna let this go <
I, I've fallen...

Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles

*Sigh*
Good night




Ade Kinch from URL @ 11:56 PM

Memory
mine's pretty bad. Im having issues with recognising people. hehe...thats a warning sign for senility. So if I pass you and don't say hi, it's not personal. I'm either in Ade Land or I just don't recognise you.

If You Didn't Know....Well Now You Know

Last night looked at the number of hits to my page and I realised quite a few people have been visiting the page.
At first I was happy about that. I'm not sure why.
But then I thought about it. Im sure most of the traffic is coming from Marcus' page and a whole lot of his traffic is coming from The Scandal Instute. Ive seen the Scandal Forum on that page and the negativity is overwhelming. I mean it's a great place to state your views and get feedback on your ideas...BUT some people out there are only capable of seeing flaws and bringing other people down when possible.

And now some of these people are visiting my blog.

I made the blog public so the people that cared how my day went could catch up on Ade events. And now I've succeeded in sharing myself with strangers (that sound kinda bad yuh!!:) who might not understand that I enjoy being cheesey and strange.

I was thinking about just deleting the blog...but then I thought "Am I supposed to live my life in fear of criticism?"
Idon't think so!

This blogging thing is fun and I enjoy getting my thoughts down.
So.... for anyone that has issues with me, and my expressing myself... I'm afraid it's your problem, not mine





Ade Kinch from URL @ 5:29 PM

Friday, April 05, 2002

I forgot to add...I'm looking for an HTML knight in shining armour to help me fix my archives. I've been trying to fix it on my own but that hasnt been working.
Please apply within. adekinch@hotmail.com
thanks



Ade Kinch from URL @ 6:16 PM

Ive been studying.
This unfamiliar action does not agree with me. I'm looking like Fester from the Adam's Family.
Even though I have to do more of it (studying) tonight I still believe its necessary to T.G.I.F.
My lazy butt needs to go to the supermarket....but until I do it's tuna (just plain tuna...nothing else) for dinner. I imagine a few Ade lovers are cussing (well maybe only one) but I'm just too tired to do the whole supermarket thing. Tomorrow...I promise.
I can't stay online any longer. Im so sleepy.
More later
(look ma...no comments!!!)



Ade Kinch from URL @ 6:07 PM

Thursday, April 04, 2002

Pink
Im in a mood. And I cant even get on MSN for some healty pick-me-up chatting (grumble). MSN is bere SH*TE!

My night...first off...I tried to set my hair. This is about the second time Im attempting this feat and it brought back all the terrible memories of the first time. I got fed up and took out the stupid rollers before my hair was dry. I have no patience. I think I shoulda been a guy!
Im not girlie but I like pink. (useless Ade fact #642)
Still no comments...and i cant even find the stupid HTML tag so I can remove it!

So...what's my issue for tonight?

I feel neglected and unappreciated.

Isn't it such a b*tch when you put more into a relationship than the other person involved? And I'm not necessarily talking about male - female relationships. I mean relationships in general.

I have to admit that 99% of the population has more of a life than I do. But how much does it take to write an email! Two minutes out of your busy schedule could mean the world to someone. Most of the time its not the big things that make the greatest impression. It's all the little things that you didnt have to do that mean the most.

Yes, this is me being bitter at 10:30pm when I should be studying.

more later. on the next study break. (i.e. in another 5 mins)
Back to the effects of marijuana on domestic animals. Why do I need to know this again??? Have you ever seen a cow smoking a blunt??? I haven't. School is sh*ite too.





Ade Kinch from URL @ 9:33 PM

Wednesday, April 03, 2002

Whatever Works For You
Im back...again.... my night just isnt going well. So blog I must.

Now Im here I dont know what to say. But I have to say something...
Let me talk about healing and getting over stuff.

I figure we all have that scar thats so deep not even second attempt wound healing works(for those doctors to be out there:) Even when the pain is no longer acute theres always that scar waiting to reopen with any further injury. Is there a cure? Maybe time...but other than that?? I dont think so.
I think this poem says it all. (no i didnt write it)

The Crack


Crack the glass
And the crack
will always remain
The human heart
has the same vein
its just as delicate to the strain



Once it's hurt
It's so hard
to fade the stain
Though parts can
be fixed together
You've just to touch the wound
to make it drain.

i cant remember who wrote it so forgive me.
Im thinking...I dont have anything profound and insightful to say.
So...the trash heap has spoken (Fraggle Rock...back in the good ol days when life was simple)






Ade Kinch from URL @ 10:23 PM

Wednesday the weekend is almost here....
Im beginning to get used to these half days. I actually used my time wisely and went to the Library. I did some work and now my Pharmacology exam is looking doable.
Im taking down these stupid comments. No comments. oh well. it was worth a try. I think im going to give up with this stupid blogging business all together...well when its not fun anymore:)
The bush behind our halls (dorm) is burning. My room smells like smoke and is full of ash. This is why youre not supposed to leave the windows open when you go to class.

SO it's officially dry season in Trinidad. Now this place will make me think of Hades much much more. With all the smoke and ash in the air. Things burn daily in the dry season here.

My countdown for NY is on. Im not even feeling it all that much anymore. I just want to hurry up and get my butt home where i belong...where people want me. Yes...Im loved. What can I say?
well...thats it for right now. Maybe more later. But hopefully I will be too busy trying to cram Pharmacology that I wont have time. Lets hope for that.
The internet is the DEVIL!
signing out from my smoke filled cabin.





Ade Kinch from URL @ 3:46 PM

Tuesday, April 02, 2002

The Other Woman
I'm back again. I dont have classes this afternoon and I just wanted to touch on this topic before the real work beating sets in, leaving me with no brain cells. I'm done with this internet thing!! really.....

So....to the other woman....
It was my bad for hating your guts and acting like you did me a personal wrong. All the while you were only the one with the same taste as me, trying to do your thing. If anything happened between you and him then it wasn't your fault he found you attractive or gave into temptation. You weren't the one that betrayed my trust and you weren't the one with an obligation to me. Therefore it wasn't right for me to give you those nasty looks, call you those names and find all those faults in you.
BUT if he gave you the "im not interested" hint then you should have taken it. If he gave into you then you can have him. He's not worth the drama.
And finally, if you're getting your groove on with him behind my back, don't come looking in my face like you have something on me. If you were really all that then he would have wanted something legitimate and he would have gotten rid of me just for you. But he didnt. So obviously I have a whole lot that he wants and isnt ready to let go of and you're just the one thats not worthy of the spotlight. Do yourself a favour and get your own man, unless you don't think you deserve better. But you can be sure, if I ever find out, you can have his lying cheating ass ALL to yourself.

Disclaimer: I'm single. Therefore no man has the ability to cheat on me and no woman can take my man away. I don't have one. This is for the past and the future "other women".



Ade Kinch from URL @ 1:06 PM

Monday, April 01, 2002

MEN
You really have to love the creatures. I mean where would womankind be without them? The world might be a bit more peaceful..but then again....the way I behave ever so often might suggest differently.
I just finished watching Someone Like You and it got me thinking. (is that sad?? who cares)
It's so easy to discount the fact that men are human. There are some of them out there that really give the gender a bad reputation. Most women have had an experience with a guy that has made it difficult (if not impossible) to trust another man. But which one of us is an angel?
I know that I've done some pretty terrible things in my relationships. Also...many of the times I got myself into a predicament it was my fault for getting involved with that particular brand of scum in the first place. I always believed I could change him. But believe me....if it looks like scum, and acts like scum...it's scum. It's not scum waiting to be transformed to chocolate syrup either. It just scum that's been scum for a while and wont stop being scum because you're oh so special and you have what it takes to transform it. Itís just scum.
I have to admit that women like that bad guy image. There are so many nice guys out there. But they are passed over so often because they donít look like Omar Epps or Taye Diggs.....or because they're not outgoing and boisterous...or because they donít know how to say all the things we like hear. Well I've been there done all of that. Give me the quietly sexy guy who knows all the things to say because they come straight from his heart and all the right things to do because these things are just a direct expression of his feelings.
OK...Iím just rambling
where was I...
right, we canít blame men for everything. Some are the spawn of Satan and need to be returned to the hell from whence they came. But let's admit it....you knew he was far from perfect...you just thought you could be "the one" to turn him around. Letís face it...some things just donít change.

Its time to give the nice guys a chance.
You could be pleasantly surprised. And once you realize that he's what you were looking for all along...NEVER let him go.

Enough insight for one night
no comments. these things have one week trial then theyre gone if i dont like the response:)

signing out from my dinky room



Ade Kinch from URL @ 10:22 PM

Sunday, March 31, 2002

OK Im screwed
what have i done???
so much for updating
ive messed up everything



Ade Kinch from URL @ 1:56 PM

comments anyone?



Ade Kinch from URL @ 1:30 PM

OK....very intimidating. Rome wasnt built in a day or by Ade( HAHAH Imacheese)
I'll start with something simple...comments. I dont know if i should....I might just get zero comments every darned day and that would be uncool. Or I might get comments and not like them. that would be uncool as well....decisions decisions.
Boredom wins!! Comments it is!!!



Ade Kinch from URL @ 1:23 PM

Im online again....well still. Im enjoying doing nothing.
It's Easter and lunch was yums. A bit lonely but thats ok.
I want to update my template. This html jargon looks intimidating. Do I have the patience with this? I dont think so. Let me try.
wish me luck



Ade Kinch from URL @ 1:20 PM

Marriage
As jaded as I am, there's still a part of me that feels that this is the highlight of woman's life.
Spending the rest of your life with the person you love unconditionally. I'm definitely looking forward to that.

My sister got married yesterday and I was maid of honour. What a hell of a job. My advice...dont go into the position unless you expect to be running around like a crazy person on the days leading up to the wedding. It was beautiful and she made a gorgeous bride.
This vacation has been wonderful. I was close to the beach, in my own place (kinda) with a good book and better company. What more can a girl ask for? For right now life is great and I'm happy.
Back to the marriaqe thing, though. I was thinking about mine....

Life doesnt work out the way i plan it...ever. So it's like I dont want to make plans because it's garunteed that they will get screwed. Still I can't help but imagine the perfect life with the perfect person by my side the whole time. (not realistic??? i can dream can't I?)

Im trying not to think of Trinidad. School is depressing. Of course I didnt do the work i was supposed to while i was home and im light years behind. When I get back to school I have a hell of alot of catching up to do. Who knows if Im capable. But I cant afford to fail so I guess I will do what is required to pass.
more later. I dont feel like typing anymore





Ade Kinch from URL @ 9:55 AM

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