I turned down the opportunity to go to two parties tonight. Yup... free entry, free drinks, good music, foam. And Im actually glad I did. (collective gasp) cause I realised that i dont know jack for this exam. hehe and now that im scared good and proper Im studying hard and breaking my one hour record. I cant imagine the shit Id be in tomorrow if I went out and drank my 3 Rush stumbled home and then tried to do a ting at 5 this morning.
And so... Im not going out this weekend.
yeah..... its not worth the feeling of dread when that I get when i sit down infront that paper and the guessing begins.
I dont know what is happening to me either. I hope Im not growing up! NEVER!
Insomnia...NO Not The Carnival Fete It's back again. The inability to get a good nights rest is here to haunt me. I dont know what it is this time....but Im thinking that exam stress might be a contributing factor. The one on Tuesday went cool and this one on Friday will go ok. But so long as I pass who gives a f*ck. When I die no one is going to care if I did well on Toxicology. [This is going to be a long whiney blog, beware]
In 2 weeks it will be a whole year since I started blogging. And who would have thought I could have stuck with something. And what has changed?
Ive managed to screw up some pretty important relationships in my life (nothing new), Im still lapsing when it comes to school work, I still hate school, still bitching about how terrible life is, my moods are still changing like Michael Jackson's face, I'm still buying shit I really shouldnt, still partying hard.
Isnt it amazing that as much as things change shit still manages to stay the same. Im one year older and it seems like I havent learnt jack 'cause I'm still making the mistakes I made a year ago!
But I really cant believe that. For the sake of sanity I will believe that Ive learnt some very important lesson in the last year and that I'm one step closer to being the person God wants me to be. yeah....for the sake of sanity I will believe that.
And how many times do I have to say Im sorry before you forgive me?
Its Been Done...And Overdone the partying this weekend was exceptional... even down to the dancing in the rain. But every action has a consequence. Fun on the weekend leads to sickness in the week. BUT so long as this cold gone by the weekend. Jamboree this weekend. Where Machel is..I will be:) True true true Party Animal signing out