Gosh Darnit! Im so sick of this studying thing. Im sick of it!!!! AHHHHHH
Im tired of these halls and this room and this freakin internet.
Rescue me from this drab existence
And to top it all off Real World was crap tonight. I can see this series going down the drain really quickly.
I feel like going out and partying. Some good reggae and calypso and a few Guinness I'll be good again.
But all my bitching and moaning will get me nowhere. So I just need to buckle down and get to it.
on other news...
what the hell is happening in the world?
I woke up this afternoon (bad ade!!) to the news on the radio. Doctors on strike in Trinidad and priests molesting children in the US. Arent these people supposed to be helping us? If we cant go to a priest or a doctor who can we go to?
Doctors shouldnt be able to strike. I dont care what issues they have it's not right to hold the welfare of other people to ransom. Theyre interfering with people's lives over money!
Don't even let me get started on the whole Catholic thing either. OK...I wont go there.
WTF!! (What the France:)
I just went to www.guinness.com and they request all this info before you enter the site.
This is what came up.
Your country of residence does not permit you to view this site.
Please exit the Guinnessģ.com website.
Lemme get this straight... you can go to any bar in Barbados and ask for Guinness and so long as you dont look like youre 12 years old they will sell it to you. BUT I cant go to the guinness web site. Im 22!! We dont even have a legal drinking age in Barbados!
Cause I am hanging on every word you say and Even if you don't want to speak tonight That's alright, alright with me Cause I want nothing more than Sit outside Heaven's door I listen to you breathing It's where I want to be Where I want to be
Last night I went out to a restaurant for my flatmate's birthday. I had a great time. I spent the whole day being all girlie because my flatmate was bored. I didnt mind being her guinea pig. It's been a while since I got dressed up and made up. I have to say the results were impressive. It's inspiration to go out and buy make up and learn how to set my freakin hair! Its definitely worth the effort.
I was told today that women are God's greatest creation. Thank you, thank you very much! I have to agree!! hahah
I'm A Girl!!
As much as I would love to be able to pee standing up (not really!) and having really long armpit hair (yeah i know Im grossing you out) I would never give up being able to fuss about clothes without being considered gay, or playing around with make up and styling my hair, or being served first at the bar or the ability to cry in public without shame, or be a damsel in distress....NEVER. It's just too much fun being feminine or female...or both.
Girls Rule!! and by the way....never underestimate the power of a hot pink top!!! mayeb its not for every one but it surely works for me!
random babbling has to stop now by the way. Exam tomorrow and I will destroy it. Whose is this????? Mine? I thought so>:)
Sleep needs to come quickly. Im not in the mood to be awake with my thoughts right now. Im slipping into a foul disposition. I can just feel it. I wont blame it on hormones. I've been accused (by an insensitive male) of blaming everything on those. Im a physiological person....what can I say?
Lullaby - Starsailor
Get back on your feet again Always seem down Some of your weaker friends Don't want you around
Lullaby Stop twisting my words tonight If you get high on life Don't leave me behind
Im dying to feel a high. There's more to life than studying!! *sigh* Off to try to sleep again.
1. women like confidence...so you should be confident enough to put yourself out there knowing that youre all that 2. if we have to come to you what else will you be expecting us to do? pay for dinner? Hold the door open? 3. it shows great interest when a guy makes the first move. it makes a woman feel really attractive. I mean if she's all that then she's worth the effort. 4. if you let a perfect opportunity to meet the possible woman of your dreams pass you by because youre scared or shy (give me break) then you dont deserve her!
OK Im going to bed now. I've really used enough brain cells on this topic...especially when it doesnt pertain to me in the slightest
I've been out of commission for a while now but Ive been stirred from my dormancy with an important (and I quote) topic. It's all about making the first move. We've all been in the position where it's obvious that girl likes boy and boy likes girl. I mean it's a given that some guys are so daft that you have to send out flares for them to notice you....but for the most part they know.
Men can be so hypocritical. Talking sh*t bout they dont mind girls making the first move and 21st centry BS. But let a girl come push that "i want you" stuff in their face and theyre running away with their tails between their legs. Either that or the train of thought, "she's made it clear that she wants me...she must do this with alot of guys...she's loose"
And all this talk about rejection. PUHLEASE. Women get rejected too! All the time!
It's not yet time for role reversal. Men couldnt handle that.
MEN Act like you have some testosterone and if you like a girl dont stare at her for weeks without making some kind of move. Go talk to her! Invite her out. Ask for the number. Offer yours. And if you've gotten through with all that. It's time to attempt the first kiss. We're waiting.
Just by the way...... Im the kind of female that goes after what she wants. I don't play games...especially not the waiting game. Hence the knowledge of rejection. But that's OK you see. I just dust myself off and go again when need be. Dont tell me i have more balls than you! And if I do...GROW SOME!
Brown Girl I went to the beach today. Just on a spur-of-the-moment thing. It was wonderful! I feel so very relaxed now. And brown! It was worth it. I also did lots of studying tonight. Im not much in the blogging mood right now though. More later Beach Bum signing out
Today Im OK. No drama, no mood swings. Im not elated or depressed about anything. So it's been a cool study full (yeah I cant believe it either) day. Im just here waiting for my laundry to finish and then it's back to the books. Someone showed me this pic. Its of trinidad carnival. See if you can spot me. Good thing Im behaving myself in this one. Trinidad carnival is the greatest!
More Than Words Im in a sentimental mood. It's amazing how a song can take you back. Happily for me it was a good time in my life. Now I feel like the time to return to JHU couldn't come soon enough. I miss Baltimore...again. All the trips to the movies and to Inner Harbour. Even the cheesey parties. But you only really appreciate those days when theyre gone. I wonder how it will be for me to return. I mean things might not be as great as I hope but it could never be a bad experience. Too much happened there to change me. It's worth it to go say goodbye. Hopefully then I will never long to be in the company of someone from my past again. Hardly likely. It's necessary to just let go...... Here are a few picsfrom back in the day.
I'm feeling like a fun, fearless female. I know I'm fickle as hell but for now Im riding on this wave of I-dont-give-a-ras-cause-life-too-so&so-short-for-shite feelings. So the comments are coming back as well as the link from hot body Mr. Popularity Thompson. And if I never get any comments then so be it. Life goes on! And if I go back home and people point and stare and whisper, "she's insane" thats ok as well. Dem rice dont bubble in my pot! (Barbados is definitely too small!) Lets hope this feeling lasts...because Ive been informed that HTML will not be altered for me again. The link stays!
I dont know brought on this mood swing. Maybe it has something to do with the new issue of Cosmo I have here. Call me ditzy....call me whatever but I think every woman should read that magazine. You can never know enough ways to wear nice make up or please your man. Education never stops!
Ade Kinch...wanton sex goddess...signing out (only those that have seen Bridgette Jones Diary will understand. for the remainder ...right now i dont really give a flying f*ck what you think!) :P
I was thinking....what gets to me? (in a good way) the pics had me thinking.... I love.... luscious lips sexy smiles confidence intelligence cornrows guys playing basketball guys taking off their shirts after playing basketball sweaty male bodies baggies that surf low boxers boxer briefs going commando possessiveness....to a degree skill (at anything;) ok...i think im going to need a cold shower. Is it me or are my hormones raging???
Attention A random guy was staring me down tonight. Like you know...one of those "I want to talk to you" stares. It was a pretty strange thing. I'm just not used to that kind of attention. It was flattering. I know I shouldn't feel flattered by random attention at a restaurant but Im human. Kill me!
this brings me to flirtation.
Usually I cry it down. It's so not me....although Ive been accused of it many times. (seems im a natural. I dont need to try) I don't like being coy. If I want something I go after it. I hate wasting time. It works sometimes...it backfires other times. Now...I'm enjoying it. KILL ME!! I say again.
This flirting Im doing is fun and harmless. Well hopefully it's harmless. Am I allowed to flirt if I dont want anything? I dont know. Too bad I took out these damned comments (not like anyone would comment) But I want some opinions. Im new to this. more later
What Am I Doing? Im doing sh*te. But am I enjoying it? Yes I am. Chatting and oogling D'Angelo in the middle of the night. Class tomorrow at 8. WIll I make it? No I wont. And this is why my mother will never get this link!!
Back to D' Angelo Look at those lips. Im definitely a lips person. Well a mouth person. I have an oral fixation!!
Im enjoying this picture posting thing....as if the damned page didnt take long enough to load! good night
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly - Drama Queen Extrordinaire , Ade Kinch Today I was called dramatic. Who, me? Noway!!! hehe.
I thought about it, between tears and "it's the end of the World" thoughts and I realised....that's my problem. It's really funny. When I think about it, most of my troubles have come from my being excessively emotional. When I feel things, I feel them much more stongly than the average person. And boy am I capable of making a mountain out of a molehill! It's getting worse now though. I obviously have too much time on my hands. I think too much. So now after a few minutes of rational thought.... this is what Ive come up with. 1. This internet is gone....TODAY! before i make a bigger fool of myself. 2. I have to take blame this time. Even though you handled things badly I shouldnt have tried to drag an innocent bystander into my issues. 3. On an entirely separate note.... I love you Marcus. I'm happy you're capable of dealing with me...otherwise I'd be growing old alone. Drama Queen - signing out!
My Personal Profile from astrology.com Kinda long but interesting.....
You appear gentle and soft, and you act rather reserved with others until you know them well and feel it is safe to be open with them. You have a strong need for emotional security and a sense of belonging, and are deeply attached to the past: your heritage, roots, family, cherished friends, familiar places, etc. Making radical changes or moves away from what is known and safe can be very painful and difficult for you. You tend to cling and hold on to people, memories, possessions of personal or sentimental significance. Having a home, a safe haven, is very important to you.
You approach life emotionally and subjectively and are sensitive to the emotional atmosphere, the subtle undercurrents of feeling in and around you. Instinctive and nonrational, you are often unable to give a clear, simple explanation for your actions. Something FEELS right, or it doesn't.
Your emotions and personal loyalties tend to color your thoughts and opinions. You view life from a very personal perspective and often cannot mentally detach yourself from your own personal bias and prejudices. You are apt to be concerned primarily with how something affects you and those dear and close to you, rather than with the principle or the broader social implications. Put simply: if it is good for me and mine, it is good. If it is not good for me and mine, it is no good.
You are tenaciously loyal, protective, and supportive of those you care about, and have a very strong nurturing, motherly nature (regardless of your gender). You empathize with others and intuitively sense the feelings and needs of other people. Compassionate and sympathetic, you are easily moved by others' pain, and you are often the one others seek out when they need comfort, reassurance, or help.
Your moods fluctuate and change frequently and you are sometimes open, sometimes withdrawn emotionally. You communicate nonverbally and appreciate a person who can pick up subtle cues and hints, rather than having to make everything explicit.
You never forget either kindness or unkindness shown to you.
Four Walls, A Desk and a Computer It's 3 am and Im up. I'm not tired now and I have to be up for class in 4 hours. I skipped all my classes yesterday and now it looks like today will be a repeat. I'm sick of this life I have here. I need to get out. Since I came back from Barbados I've been off this compund once and that was a 2 hour tip to the supermarket. Since then Ive only been out of my room to go to class. And then there's this damned internet. It's not healthy the amount of time I spend here doing nothing of consequence. My priorities are shifting, and the line between what's important and what's not is becoming blurred. People that bear no importance to my real life seem to take on greater meaning in my virtual existence. Things that should not be an issue are becoming a source of argument. It's quite unnerving. So Ive been bitching about it for a little while now. Not really doing anything to remedy the situation. I have to decide what I'm going to do. Weigh the importance of ready access to my family (MIA!!) and close friends against the negative effects this new life is having on me. I really dont have time for this melodrama. I have so much work to do! So it's settled. The internet has to go before I lose all sense of reality. :( Why couldnt things be simple? sigh
Rain I just walked though pouring rain and I got soaked. At first I was contemplating running as I tried to dodge raindrops. Then I remembered how much fun it is to walk through the rain. It was great. I recommend it. It's a very liberating experience. Some of the most momentous occassions in my life have taken place in the rain. I love the rain! And now I'm home I can just go to sleep...(too bad it's alone)
My orals (examination...perv!!) went well. It seems that I have issues with memorization but I grasp concepts well. So I was able to figure out what they were asking for. My day didnt totally suck.
Procrastination I have a head ache and Im sick and tired of Pharmacology. I also have the attention span of a 3 year old. It's a wonder I got this far. Just 3 more years and I'll be through. SO it's a definite all nighter for me tonight. With frequent breaks it seems.
Topic for tonight...Ade's Bitchin' Ways
My personality tends to be a bit much for the average person to deal with. Only a few can stick around when all my bad habits and hang ups come to light. But, Ive come to realise...it's ok to be me. Even though I can be annoying and bitchy at times there's a whole lot of good stuff that comes with the pakage. So if you like me in spite of my faults I know you really like me.
With that said...it's OK if you don't like me.
Some people just dont have what it takes. C'est la vie.
It's Official I does do bere SH*TE! i got an exam tomorrow and online chatting wid sexy men (well man rather!!) I wont fail though Im good like that (hear me) So Im going to pull myself away (must....be....strong.....) and not let "hot stuff" lead me down the path of destruction!! I will conquer this Pharmacology! I am woman! :) Strange....strange things are happening....strange
Im back on again. I'm realising (with the aid of all the people that ask me why I dont have a life) that the quality of my life has greatly deteriorated. I spend all my time on the internet now. I mean, on the average night, this is where I can find the people important to my life. But it's Saturday and Im the only one in the whole world that's stuck on the PC talking to herself. Everyone else is at that Boomtribe thing enjoying themselves (and so they should....exams round the corner) And it's not like I'm studying. No....Im here online...with no one to chat with and my brain is still lacking in the Pharmacology Department. Here I am...blogging daily, sometimes twice a day. What is happening to me? I've become a computer nerd that's not quite nerdy. Sigh. Enough complaining. There's not going to be any life for me for a while so I can stop dreaming. I'm going to bed. Govie I hope you were able to get on wild enough for you and me. You too Marcus, natural dibby sket!
Wishing I was there......
Cause I need you And I miss you And now I wonder If I could fall Into the sky Do you think time Would pass me by,oh Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you... tonight
And I, I don't wanna let you know I, I drown in your memory I,I don't wanna let this go < I, I've fallen...
Memory mine's pretty bad. Im having issues with recognising people. hehe...thats a warning sign for senility. So if I pass you and don't say hi, it's not personal. I'm either in Ade Land or I just don't recognise you.
If You Didn't Know....Well Now You Know
Last night looked at the number of hits to my page and I realised quite a few people have been visiting the page. At first I was happy about that. I'm not sure why. But then I thought about it. Im sure most of the traffic is coming from Marcus' page and a whole lot of his traffic is coming from The Scandal Instute. Ive seen the Scandal Forum on that page and the negativity is overwhelming. I mean it's a great place to state your views and get feedback on your ideas...BUT some people out there are only capable of seeing flaws and bringing other people down when possible.
And now some of these people are visiting my blog.
I made the blog public so the people that cared how my day went could catch up on Ade events. And now I've succeeded in sharing myself with strangers (that sound kinda bad yuh!!:) who might not understand that I enjoy being cheesey and strange.
I was thinking about just deleting the blog...but then I thought "Am I supposed to live my life in fear of criticism?" Idon't think so!
This blogging thing is fun and I enjoy getting my thoughts down. So.... for anyone that has issues with me, and my expressing myself... I'm afraid it's your problem, not mine
I forgot to add...I'm looking for an HTML knight in shining armour to help me fix my archives. I've been trying to fix it on my own but that hasnt been working. Please apply within. firstname.lastname@example.org thanks
Ive been studying. This unfamiliar action does not agree with me. I'm looking like Fester from the Adam's Family. Even though I have to do more of it (studying) tonight I still believe its necessary to T.G.I.F. My lazy butt needs to go to the supermarket....but until I do it's tuna (just plain tuna...nothing else) for dinner. I imagine a few Ade lovers are cussing (well maybe only one) but I'm just too tired to do the whole supermarket thing. Tomorrow...I promise. I can't stay online any longer. Im so sleepy. More later (look ma...no comments!!!)
Pink Im in a mood. And I cant even get on MSN for some healty pick-me-up chatting (grumble). MSN is bere SH*TE!
My night...first off...I tried to set my hair. This is about the second time Im attempting this feat and it brought back all the terrible memories of the first time. I got fed up and took out the stupid rollers before my hair was dry. I have no patience. I think I shoulda been a guy! Im not girlie but I like pink. (useless Ade fact #642) Still no comments...and i cant even find the stupid HTML tag so I can remove it!
So...what's my issue for tonight?
I feel neglected and unappreciated.
Isn't it such a b*tch when you put more into a relationship than the other person involved? And I'm not necessarily talking about male - female relationships. I mean relationships in general.
I have to admit that 99% of the population has more of a life than I do. But how much does it take to write an email! Two minutes out of your busy schedule could mean the world to someone. Most of the time its not the big things that make the greatest impression. It's all the little things that you didnt have to do that mean the most.
Yes, this is me being bitter at 10:30pm when I should be studying.
more later. on the next study break. (i.e. in another 5 mins) Back to the effects of marijuana on domestic animals. Why do I need to know this again??? Have you ever seen a cow smoking a blunt??? I haven't. School is sh*ite too.
Whatever Works For You Im back...again.... my night just isnt going well. So blog I must.
Now Im here I dont know what to say. But I have to say something... Let me talk about healing and getting over stuff.
I figure we all have that scar thats so deep not even second attempt wound healing works(for those doctors to be out there:) Even when the pain is no longer acute theres always that scar waiting to reopen with any further injury. Is there a cure? Maybe time...but other than that?? I dont think so. I think this poem says it all. (no i didnt write it)
Crack the glass And the crack will always remain The human heart has the same vein its just as delicate to the strain
Once it's hurt It's so hard to fade the stain Though parts can be fixed together You've just to touch the wound to make it drain.
i cant remember who wrote it so forgive me. Im thinking...I dont have anything profound and insightful to say. So...the trash heap has spoken (Fraggle Rock...back in the good ol days when life was simple)
Wednesday the weekend is almost here.... Im beginning to get used to these half days. I actually used my time wisely and went to the Library. I did some work and now my Pharmacology exam is looking doable. Im taking down these stupid comments. No comments. oh well. it was worth a try. I think im going to give up with this stupid blogging business all together...well when its not fun anymore:) The bush behind our halls (dorm) is burning. My room smells like smoke and is full of ash. This is why youre not supposed to leave the windows open when you go to class.
SO it's officially dry season in Trinidad. Now this place will make me think of Hades much much more. With all the smoke and ash in the air. Things burn daily in the dry season here.
My countdown for NY is on. Im not even feeling it all that much anymore. I just want to hurry up and get my butt home where i belong...where people want me. Yes...Im loved. What can I say? well...thats it for right now. Maybe more later. But hopefully I will be too busy trying to cram Pharmacology that I wont have time. Lets hope for that. The internet is the DEVIL! signing out from my smoke filled cabin.
The Other Woman I'm back again. I dont have classes this afternoon and I just wanted to touch on this topic before the real work beating sets in, leaving me with no brain cells. I'm done with this internet thing!! really.....
So....to the other woman.... It was my bad for hating your guts and acting like you did me a personal wrong. All the while you were only the one with the same taste as me, trying to do your thing. If anything happened between you and him then it wasn't your fault he found you attractive or gave into temptation. You weren't the one that betrayed my trust and you weren't the one with an obligation to me. Therefore it wasn't right for me to give you those nasty looks, call you those names and find all those faults in you. BUT if he gave you the "im not interested" hint then you should have taken it. If he gave into you then you can have him. He's not worth the drama. And finally, if you're getting your groove on with him behind my back, don't come looking in my face like you have something on me. If you were really all that then he would have wanted something legitimate and he would have gotten rid of me just for you. But he didnt. So obviously I have a whole lot that he wants and isnt ready to let go of and you're just the one thats not worthy of the spotlight. Do yourself a favour and get your own man, unless you don't think you deserve better. But you can be sure, if I ever find out, you can have his lying cheating ass ALL to yourself.
Disclaimer: I'm single. Therefore no man has the ability to cheat on me and no woman can take my man away. I don't have one. This is for the past and the future "other women".
MEN You really have to love the creatures. I mean where would womankind be without them? The world might be a bit more peaceful..but then again....the way I behave ever so often might suggest differently. I just finished watching Someone Like You and it got me thinking. (is that sad?? who cares) It's so easy to discount the fact that men are human. There are some of them out there that really give the gender a bad reputation. Most women have had an experience with a guy that has made it difficult (if not impossible) to trust another man. But which one of us is an angel? I know that I've done some pretty terrible things in my relationships. Also...many of the times I got myself into a predicament it was my fault for getting involved with that particular brand of scum in the first place. I always believed I could change him. But believe me....if it looks like scum, and acts like scum...it's scum. It's not scum waiting to be transformed to chocolate syrup either. It just scum that's been scum for a while and wont stop being scum because you're oh so special and you have what it takes to transform it. Itís just scum. I have to admit that women like that bad guy image. There are so many nice guys out there. But they are passed over so often because they donít look like Omar Epps or Taye Diggs.....or because they're not outgoing and boisterous...or because they donít know how to say all the things we like hear. Well I've been there done all of that. Give me the quietly sexy guy who knows all the things to say because they come straight from his heart and all the right things to do because these things are just a direct expression of his feelings. OK...Iím just rambling where was I... right, we canít blame men for everything. Some are the spawn of Satan and need to be returned to the hell from whence they came. But let's admit it....you knew he was far from perfect...you just thought you could be "the one" to turn him around. Letís face it...some things just donít change.
Its time to give the nice guys a chance. You could be pleasantly surprised. And once you realize that he's what you were looking for all along...NEVER let him go.
Enough insight for one night no comments. these things have one week trial then theyre gone if i dont like the response:)